Reaction to parents' stress
Although hard to believe, it is the cause of child stress is more banal than we think. Most often it is under stress ... of parents. Children, in a very concrete and tangible way, experience all the emotions of their first educators. That is why they repeatedly refuse to carry out these activities that are difficult for us and over time show similar culinary preferences, despite the fact that we have tried so hard to have vegetables in the place of sweetness, and meat with little or no salt tastes as good as this, that adults eat every day.
Of course, this is not about blaming yourself that the child is going through all the stages of adaptation: crying, apathy or hysteriabut for that to control yourself. Calmness, determination and the feeling that it is doing well are the most important in such situations. All hesitation, doubts that we try to hide very quickly will be observed and in the eyes of the child will grow to unimaginable sizes. And if the parent is not convinced to the once taken pre-school path, it is difficult to expect that such a certainty will show the child.
Build a sense of security
It's no secret that beloved wise child copes easier in life. Just like the fact that a toddler who experiences unconditional acceptance is better prepared to face everyday problems. On the other hand, there is something else: upbringing by setting a good example on the one hand, and on the other by teaching your child how to function in society. A child who has boundaries, a sense of what is allowed and what is not allowed, feels safe and calm. It is a mistake, propagated by some current trends, to make the child responsible for everyday choices resulting from depriving them of borders, not applying bans and orders.
Indecision of a parent has a strict impact on the child's behavior. On the part of the parent it may result from the fear that the child will love a demanding parent less (in a world where less and less is required), from their own uncertainty and loss, or from a lack of time. Meanwhile, at first the simpler permission for a child to do what he wants (or limit his freedom to explore the world - as it is nicely called in some circles) usually has a detrimental effect on the child and parent.
A child without borders is a seemingly spoiled child, but really lost, without support in parents and in itself. Such a kindergarten child will do worse than his peers.
A sense of security also builds consequence. Consistency is not austerity. Through consistency we show the child that in an unstable and full of surprising situations there is a haven that, despite external storms, hurricanes, does not change. It's a haven where you can always take refuge.
The consequence is contrary to what is thought: allowing exceptions. Parents' role is always to assess the situation. Context and specific conditions matter. One of the biggest advantages a parent can have is flexibility.
Talk, but don't force it
Going to kindergarten should be contrary to appearances possibly "ordinary". Having too many conversations and asking continuous questions and asking for the child to tell what was happening in the kindergarten can cause a blockage in the child. One should be open to conversation, but without "forcing" testimonies. Many children who experience strong emotions connected with going to kindergarten cannot describe what they feel. In such situations, playing together, hugging or staying together is better than focusing on the very fact of going to kindergarten and having conversations about the first day in a new place. Let's wait until the child begins to tell us about the kindergarten. And when this moment occurs, most likely, his mouth will not close.
The first weeks in kindergarten can be difficult, but it is a very important stage in the development of the child. It is worth surviving it, and then remember the initial difficulties with growing up.
Dear parents, will you share your experience? How was your first day at kindergarten? We look forward to your memories!